Gratitude

I always knew that having children would change my life. There would be extra mouths to feed, poopy diapers to change, scraped knees to kiss, more clothes to wash, and toys to buy. But I knew I could handle all that -- how hard is it to buy an extra gallon of milk or fold one more load of towels?? The change that I wasn't prepared for was the influence that these small young babies would have on me.

E (3 weeks old)

I always wanted to be a mother. I watched my mom as she would bring home new babies and I just remember loving them. I loved their tiny features and sweet spirits. So I was ecstatic when Jared and I brought home our baby E. I felt lucky to have a hard-working husband, which allowed me to stay home and raise this baby. I remember "ooohing" and "ahhhing" over every little thing he did, feeling so  blessed to be in that moment. I remember times where I would cuddle with him and watch as he stared at the ceiling, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was glimpsing into heaven. The thickness of the Spirit in the room was overwhelming. We had been entrusted with this baby; to raise him and love him and help him. What a daunting, yet fulfilling task we had ahead! Now he is almost 3, and I can't believe how fast time goes.

K (1 week old)

And now as I sit here typing, I stare into the sleepy eyes of our newest addition. Thinking back on all those moments with E, I am now experiencing them all over again -- the "ooohs" and "ahhhs", the gratitude I feel for being a mother, and the occasional glimpses into heaven. Tears stream down my cheeks as I thank my Father in Heaven for these 2 precious boys and pray that I can only grow to be the mother that they need. And while MOST days with an almost-three year old can be taxing and some days I look back on the day and think, "That was a TOTAL fail" -- I am grateful to have these moments to remember and when I sneak in at night and watch my sweet babies sleeping, I am filled with an increased desire to do better, to try harder, and to LOVE MORE.

A Year and A Half (Plus 2 Months)

This post is long overdue but as I was looking through my posts, this one was saved as a draft. I loved the pictures and knew that I wanted to post them. I can't believe our little baby is now almost 2! At least once a day, I stop in amazement at how big he's gotten and how smart he is. He loves to learn new things and always wants to help me do whatever I am doing at the moment. He never sits still! He loves reading books and is really trying hard to talk. He knows a couple letters ("o" and "i" or "i-dot" as Jared taught him!) and will point them out any time he sees them. 

Today, I was mixing something in my Bosch and he was standing on his chair next to the counter. He kept touching the dial and making it mix faster and then would make the mixing noise. I would turn to him and tell him to leave the dial on the "2" so it wouldn't mix too fast. After about the 50th time of telling him to not touch the machine, I could feel myself getting a little impatient. I kept hearing him make noises and I turned to tell him to stop touching it. There he was looking at me with wide eyes, pointing to an "o". "O", he said. My frustration melted away as I saw his face and proud he looked at me that he had seen the "o". We talked for a minute and he pointed to all the other "o's" on the machine. (P.S. I love to see him move his chair over from the table and put it right next to me when I am cooking. He picks it up, says "ugh" a few times as he stumbles over to the counter. He pushes the buttons or picks something up and pretends to pour it into the bowl. He loves to be so involved and be at the same level to help me.)

It's moments like these and the many others I have on a daily basis that make me feel so blessed to be a mom! I can always count on Ethan to brighten my spirits if I'm feeling down or to make me laugh if I haven't laughed for a while. He has such a sweet spirit and as much as I try to "parent" him and teach him things that are important for him to know, he teaches me so much more. 

"For the natural man is an enemy to God...unless he...becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

-Mosiah 3:19

Cherish Every Moment

Just this morning I found out that a good friend from a previous ward passed away this weekend in an ATV accident. She had not yet had the opportunity to get married or have kids but she was such an amazing girl. She had the ability to cheer anyone up and make you feel so comfortable.Although I hadn't seen her for a while, she recently sent me a message on Facebook and I never took the chance to write her back. When I found out the news, I immediately thought back to this message and guilt overtook me. I will never have the opportunity to talk to her again in this life.

As I continue to think about this sweet girl and other people in the past, living and not, that I have failed to keep contact with or continue building the relationships we started years ago, it makes me ponder and set new goals for keeping in touch and building relationships. I want to be able to live in the moment and cherish each day!

Simplify

Towards the end of the year last year I came across this blog post on Tip Junkie. From there I found a post by Ali Edwards. In this post she says "A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow." Each year, she decides on a word to represent her year; something that she can focus on and think about as she goes through her daily life. I thought this was an amazing idea! I pondered for a while as I went about my day and tried to look for a word that might fit perfectly into what I wanted for my 2011. 


Then one day, a General Conference talk popped into my mind. Elder Uchtdorf quotes Leonardo da Vinci and says, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Not only did I love the whole talk, but that quote really stuck out to me. I felt I had finally come upon my "one little word". 


SIMPLIFY


It amazes me how we can fill up our days so quickly and become so busy with "things"-good and not so good. I don't feel like my life is as busy as many people, but I am busy. I have so many things I need & want to do, things I want to accomplish, etc.  that some days I look at the clock and wonder where the day has gone. So this word is exactly what I need to focus on for 2011.  


As I mentioned in my last post, I want to be able to cherish the small moments with my family, have a mind that is clear and not muddled with thoughts of negativity or frustration, make room for the "best" things in my life and REALLY focus on what matters MOST.


And for those of you reading this post, I challenge you to choose "one little word" that has meaning to you for 2011. It's never too late to start. Let's make this our best year yet!